A life without corn is a difficult life. It is a life full of tragedy and pain.
The tragedy of which I speak is a tragedy of dashed hopes. It is the tremendous letdown of discovering that Pringles contain corn oil and the best crackers available are lousy Triscuits. Worst is knowing that Mountain Dew contains the dreaded high fructose corn syrup.
Then there was hope. Almost all soda is made with corn syrup these days, but Coke detests the idea of losing customers over Passover. They produce a limited quantity of the circa 1985 original recipe, the one that uses real refined sugar rather than high fructose corn syrup. Apparently this makes it Kosher. If I could get some of this maybe I could once again enjoy the sugar and caffeine rush that I remember from so long ago.
I can see this ending in one of two ways. First, I could go to the store and discover that there is no Kosher Coke available. Rochester has a Jewish population, but it’s not exactly New York. Even if the mythical yellow cap does exist in Rochester it may already be gone. Sugar Coke is very popular with Pepsi hating Coke fanatics. Supposedly it is better than the corn based variety.
The second possible outcome is that they actually do sell Kosher Coke here in town. Then I would be stuck drinking Coke for the next month.
While not exactly Julius Caesar I would say both options are pretty tragic.
The pain I feel is the pain of hunger. For some reason I find myself looking for food more often than before. My body has, apparently, grown accustomed to a constant supply of corn based energy throughout the day. Without it I get hungry for lunch at 10:30 and hungry for supper around 3:00.
I can’t imagine people are actually reading my blog because they are interested in my Battle Against Corn. Here is a picture of my son with a bucket on his head.